I
do agree with my friends that the topic
of this article is misleading. Because the list can be pretty long and no doubt
why so many best-selling books available on this topic. However keeping in mind
the considerable amount spent for earning this degree, I will try to keep the
list short ( limited to few theories).
‘Spiked CV’ theory: Irrespective
of what they tell in the interviews or write in the SOPs, most of the students (around 99.41%) join
B-school so that they can end up with a high-paying job. And to make this dream come true, the one and only pass
is a ‘spiked CV’. Those mortals who have recently earned or want to earn the
right to passage in a B-school must not get mislead with the term ‘Spike’. The dictionary meaning of the word i.e ‘having sharp points’, justifies its
position before the word ‘CV’. Let me
enlighten you.
The
HR manager in any company have a horrendous task of going through thousands of
CVs,before summer placement/final placement, to shortlist few lucky mortals who
will be in GD/PI round. He doesn’t have the privilege or motivation to allot
more than 5-10 seconds to a single CV. After these few seconds , either your CV
is at one side of table to be considered for further rounds or in the dustbin
to be recycled. Hence unless your CV contain some sharp points (no pun intended) which will not force the HR Manager out of his slumber , your CV should be in
a place where it rightly belongs i.e dustbin.
So
how one can make hi/her CV ‘SPIKED’? That’s an important and big question. And
my personal philosophy is to avoid big questions of life. And also each
B-school have its own theories/procedures
for adding spikes. Hence I will restrain myself from disclosing the
details.
However
, the basic concept of ‘spiking’ is to
write powerful, adjective-studded lines
about whatever you have done or imagined to have done in life till that period
, your actual/imaginary interests and hobbies etc.
For
example, if your interest is playing games in PC/console , you need not be so
straightforward while writing this in your CV. You may write ‘Vast experience
in using/testing software applications’. Suppose you were in the bottom 1/3 rd
portion in your class , you have to tweak the sentence to ‘Graduated in the top 66% of my class‘
or ‘Finished eighth in my class of
ten’ (highlight the word eighth) . Same concept as glass half empty , half full.
‘It depends’ theory
I
was pondering about the origin of this theory and am still not sure whether it
started with the origin of zen philosophy which taught there is no single
definitive answer to any question. But surely once you enter a B-school, this
theory will save you in all class participation.
Be
it academic questions , ‘Which is the
better option to finance the project?’ , ‘Which marketing strategy will work for
this product?’ , ‘What is the impact of increase in CRR rate on economy?’
Or
Non-academic ones ‘Who is the hottest girl in class?’ , ‘Which is better whisky
or Vodka?’ , ‘Who is better player Sachin/Lara , Federer/Nadal , Messi/Ronaldo
……?’ , ‘Where to eat tonight, in the college mess or outside?’
Or
personal ones ‘Are you in love or just flirting ?’ , ‘Do you smoke , drink
?’etc
All
the questions of Universe can be answered by the simple statement. So next time
you are in the class without any clue to answer the question and you have angry professor looking at you
with owl eyes , just try out with the answer ‘It Depends’.
After
two years, this is going to be the point of difference between a person with a
MBA and a person without it. You will belong to the enlightened few , who don’t
jump into conclusion at once , don’t give any straight answer. Because by that
point of your life, you would have realised that be it in classroom or in real
world there is no question which cannot be answered by a simple two-word statement ‘IT DEPENDS’.
'Free-rider' Theory
This
is one of the much debated theory in campus. Everyone seems to oppose it. But I
guarantee that once in a while everybody has been benefited by it. But of
course , some lucky ones will be able to do a PhD on this theory with their
own strategies for application.
Let’s
go to origin of this theory. When our ancestors climbed down from tress and and
stared living in a community, they went
in groups to hunt. Initially each member in the group has to work hard to
gather food or hunt animal. Gradually one member must have realised ,without
his contribution in the work, food can be gathered / animals can be killed . He
need not strain his body for the work. He just has act his part as a member in
the group and can get his share. So he can be the ‘free-rider’.
Unfortunately
there is written acknowledgement of that unknown ancestor’s patent on this
theory. Hence we the generations who received the theory without any patent
cost, overused it as it happens anything we receive free.
But
in a B-school , each other Guy/girl you meet is as smart or smarter than you.
Hence necessary precaution should be taken while using the theory so that you
don’t get caught and ostracized from the group. But of course there is no one
who hasn’t used this once in a while. Even those who are vehemently against it
also have taken help of this theory in need.
The above may work as a guide/warning (pun intended , I hope) for the aspiring MBA students.
DISCLAIMER:
I know that you believe that you
understand what you think I wrote, but I'm not sure you realize that what you read
is not what I meant.
