Rebel without a cause

Fight with minutes to have claim on hour
Like a firefly , eternally infatuated with fire
Neither for an agenda nor for a goal , have any care

In search of a path, he will not take
roam like a person, who has no place to return
And struggle for the freedom he doesn't believe

Hatred or Love , Wrong or Right , Darkness or Light
When all begins and ends within One
Who needs a reason to fight


In this moment or before or after ,
Here or there , when the journey will end
Does it make a difference for a rebel without cause

Sweet November

Somehow I know it has all happened before
Long ago that we both can realise or imagine
But still like a morning dream you look familiar

Out of the circle of logic and reason
Forgiving those lost eternity and hidden tomorrows
You still stir the memories like winter sun

Behind those masks and pretensions
Unspoken words and uncomfortable silence
So far from you, still I feel so near

Sometime , I can still hear you whispering my name
And it does not matter which place and which season
You were and will remain my Sweet November

Remains of a day

What shall I leave behind
remains of old dreams , unanswered questions
or my broken silence

Why stars are so lonely
Is this the distance or fear of attraction
what can one understand when rainbows flutter

Why Gods died so young
couldn't they wait for night to end
or did they got bored with their perfection

What shall I carry with me for the next journey
love , hatred , peace , anger , memories
All the remains of the day

Perfect Hangover

Love has robbed us both , you of pleasure , me of pain
With astounding silence it stole my war and your peace
We got into a perfect hangover by this intoxicated emotion
So pure that I won't complain

Your eyes cured my soul
Your laughter made me reborn
There are no more questions , no more denial
You became the answer

The old song has faded away
waiting from some words from your lips
But heart is eager to write a new song
waiting for unruly curls of you hair to fall into place

Never Let you Go

Of the beautiful eyes , the rhythm of silence
the confused soul, the reason of being in love
the dreams that bind us together to the path unknown

Of the past we never had and the future will never have
of the smiling stars in the night
of the pain of the building that is going to be demolised

Of the time that has gone by
of the moment when I first saw you
of the music of busy traffic in a highway

Of my journey to the next lane of future
of my retreat from darkness of my heart
of every moment when I thought of you

Of the distance that separates us
of the moving train passing by the sleeping village
of the moment we wasted looking for each other

Of the desert waiting for the rain
of the bruised relations and broken hearts
of the beginning of my journey and dawn of my realisation

I did never let you go

10 commandments from hel(L)

Three days into term-II, I already feel the pressure of elephant sitting on my head and myself racing to
break the 100m record by usain bolt. If term-I was about standing on the toe , this term is all about
standing on the toe nails and ballet like natalie portman as in Black Swan.

However as the line goes in the Charlize Theron starrer 'monster' , 'The thing that people never 
realise about me is that  I can train myself into anything'. This holds true for the students here.
And I hope that will  also hold true for me in the coming days

So after so much brain scratching and smoke surfing , I postulate the following 10 commandments
for MBA students straight from hel(L)

S No	The Ten Commandments in Bible	The Ten Commandments in MBA
1	Thou shalt have no other gods before me	Thou shall have no other dream or thought than MBA
2	Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is  in heaven above, or that  is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth	Thou shall not remember your family or old friends nor foster any kind of relationship till the day you walk through this hallowed gate
3	Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord  thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.	Thou shall not take your CV in vain ; for the companies will not hold him/her guiltless who taketh their CV in vain
4	'Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy	Remember the exam day and appear in it
5	Honour thy father and thy mother : that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee	Honour thy Professors and thy seniors : or the days will be long upon the road you walk
6	Thou shalt not kill	Thou shall not sleep neither in day nor in night
7	Thou shalt not commit adultery	Thou shall not maintain CGPA less than ten
8	Thou shalt not steal	Thou shall not bunk classes
9	Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour	Thou shall not fail to earn CV points
10	Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.	Thou shalt not covet other’s girlfriend, nor friend of girlfriend, nor other’s PPO, nor other’s CGPA, nor anything that is other’s

1/6 TH MBA*

As you already know and must have seen in countless advertisements the '*' at the end of an
announcement suggests that 'conditions apply'. So I thought to put it at the end of this blog's
title as my term-I results are yet to come.

Ideally I should have written this one week back , when the term-I exam was over. But ask
any student pursuing  MBA, about two things he/she would like to do after first trimester/
semester is over , the answers will be 1. Go Home ,  2. Sleep a Lot. Same emotions as a
prisoner first time in parole. So in the spirit of keeping the traditions of those who have
completed this first part of the stint in hell and who will complete in the future , I went home
and slept a lot for last few days.

However while going home , I tried to apply theory of marketing (i.e creating , communicating
and delivering the value) into laws of attraction. At 30,000 ft above ground, I  positioned
my upper part of the body at 21.7 degree angle to show the college logo and name on the
t-shirt to the high cost (pretty) air hostess in the low cost airline. After several attempts ,
her looks conveyed the message that she is not that into me. At that height , I did not have
the option to walk out. So I stayed with a sour heart and as I had nothing else to do I
started to think whether I learnt anything in the last three months from this costly course.
The verdict was 'not much' ( in terms of opportunity cost)

Then I started thinking about 'What to do next'. I remembered what Mr Shivram Apte
(guest lecturer for a course)  had  told about the options after MBA.

The picture , I think is self-explanatory (as it took more than 15 minutes of my time and
patience to complete it in MS Paint). To put it into words , those with high ambition and
ability to withstand pain will constantly change their jobs for better opportunities, those
with high ambition and willingness to do something different  will become CXOs (CEO,
CFO  etc) , those who want to be the change and can withstand pain with no high
ambition will join NGO and at last with all the three i.e ambition , ability to
withstand pain and willing to bring change will become entrepreneurs.

I don't know what I want to become. Beyond the fascinating colors , large white space
remains and  it seems that is my domain.

Another aspect about choosing profession I got while reading the book 'The Black Swan'
by Nassim Nicholas Taleb , where he had postulated the following theory

"The distinction between writer and baker , speculator and doctor , fraudster and prostitute
is a helpfulway to look at the world of activities. It separates those professions in which one
can add zeros ofincome with no greater labor from those in which one needs to add labor
and time (both of which are in limited supply) - in other words , those subject to gravity"

So as the term-II starts I begin to think which profession to chose when the course ends ,
a 'scalable' one ( in which you are not paid by the hour and thus subject to limitations of
the amount of your labour) or a 'non-scalable' one

Come as you are

Come as a song when I am afraid to sing

As a hope, when all is lost

As love, to fill the void in heart

Come as a rainbow when I look at the sky

As a gift, when I expect none

As a friend, when I am left alone

Come as a shooting star when I want to make a wish

As a glass of wine, when I sit to write

As the morning star, in my darkest night

Come as peace, after I have fought my war

As a last heartbeat, for a dying man

As a silver moon, gleaming on a stream

Come as a  dream, when I sleep no more

As a vision, when I am confused

As a smile, when tears are dried up

Come as a prayer, when I lose faith

As a imagination, when I am too real

As a idea, when I am afraid to think

Come as freedom, when I am in chains

As a bedtime story, when I am a child

As a walking stick , when I grow too old

Come as unexpected, as a summer rain
As a first kiss or as a last wish
As a red rose on the grave

Come whenever and wherever you like

Come, as you used to be, as a surprise

I will be then and there, as promised

Hey God , don't look this way

Hey God,  if your ever wake up from your eternal sleep
Please don't look this way ,
We are not ready yet for you to evaluate

The world you left us seemed too big
So we made thousand partitions
And fought many wars in the name of peace

All that we need was without any price
But we did not want things for free
And bargained freedom in death for a life spent in slavery

You thought we will learn to coexist
But equality of life was passe
So we fought with each other to see who is fit to live

You created a world without any fallacy
But it was not fun to live in a world without any lies
We created our own illussions and made mockery of life

You made us mortal so that we can seize each moment
But we believed in saying nay
And just survived long enough to die anoter day

Your final gift was the ability to love
But we thought it as a mere weakness
And now we just hate to love and love to hate

You will be sorry to see what we have become
So Please don't look this way
We have not evloved yet and are far from being perfect

random thoughts

Bored with the tranquility of my soul , I fell in love
Conspiracy of my heart , I chose you
Now I feel like a dying cockroach lying on its back waiting for eternity to end

Vibrations of the deadly silence brings back memory of future
Call it coincidence or purpose,
dancing smokes of dying cigarette draws your face in the sky

How it feels to be in love
who can tell who will dare
Am I in love? Can I deny ?

Alcohol Dreams

This is dedicated to all the Saturday nights and to all the friends who were part of those nights.

It was a Saturday night , a night for alcohol dreams
You have a free pass to roam between excitement and exhaustion
And a whole night to curse failed yesterdays , hopeless tomorrows

Waves come crashing by when you glance towards the horizon
Able to see more than you deserve and start to believe more than you meant to
Dreams start to replace the reality and emotions start their intoxicated celebration

You need not hide anymore behind the cloak of invisibility
Now you are free to hope , sing and dream of elusive love
No more you are bound to feel alone

Be it your friends, the sea , the stars , the sky or the smoke-filled air
Everywhere and from everyone you hear the same story without a word spoken
As if the whole universe camouflaged to be your own reflection

In the end, when you end up saying 'repeat' ,
sometimes  for bartender to give another drink
but always for God to grant you another such night

Have You

The following is dedicated to all those peole who have sold their worlds . (Specially to one of my favorite singer Kurt Cobain)

Have You

Ever fallen into a blackhole, touched the hearts of dead stars
Dreamt of falling into nowhere, no time , no space into sudden emptiness
Ever cried without tears , listened to the story of your shadow

Have You

Ever asked yourself for its reason of hiding
betryed your existence from something to nothing
looked into darkenss and questioned its purpose

Have You

Ever fought with a man who has nothing to lose but his agony
Stopped talking to your silence remebering the time before you are born
or ever touched the hand who wrote this song

MBA : First Impression

I admit that , with only few days of experience in college(to be specific 10 days) am not qualified to
comment on the programme or people. However as seniors and faculty members have told again
and again that getting time for yourself will be become a illusion in days to come , I thought it is
better to write whatever comes to mind. And I must tell beforehand that whatever statements am
going tomake now may be not completely true as I gather more experience here


1. Induction Programme : As per college manual , objective of the programme to initiate
interaction between faculty and new students and between final year and new students.
I am not going toelaborate the process as it will take the fun part of the programme.
However one suggestion 'pleasedon't miss it' as you will miss the whole concept of MBA
programme

One personal experience that I can share is , in the first day of induction when the faculty
asked all of us the question which we had prepared best during interview days ,'why MBA'
nobody raised handamong hundreds of students. It was quite satisfying experience for me
as I really do not know the answer.

2. Difference between Night and Day : I am a person of simple habits when it comes to sleeping.
If  I remember correctly last time I had less than six hours of sleep in a row was during 12th
board exam.I can assure you that from then on I had never have problem of sleeping 7-8 hours
in a day. I have followed that regime for the last 12 years , even  during graduation in my engg
college when friends were active in various extra curricular activities (watching movie , playing
computer games andother things) or during the years after that when I had a job

However in these few days, I have a sincere doubt whether people ever sleep here. It's like
twenty four hours a day and nobody is complaining.

The reason may be in following picture

When this Sunday , I went to bring the books from academic block a surprise was waiting for me.
I signed the acknowledgement sheet and received the books shown above and the madam
distributing the books shared the addition information (shock) that these are not for a whole year .
These are meant to be read in a trimester (10 weeks period) . Other than the above books one
can borrow reference books from library and may be provided additional reading assignments by
profs.

3. Class Participation. : I belong to those marginal section of students who went to govt schools
and colleges. So , whoever in the class raised their hand to answer or question, we used to make
fun of him/her as the 'show off person of the class'. Times change and so as places. Here the
motto is to show off else suffer in your grades.

As in today's class , most of the people animatedly discussed for an hour on difference between
values , morals and ethics , I was searching  for soul like me who was getting bored and when I
find none , the hindi tune kept ringing in my head 'ye kahan aa gaye hum'

4. Friendship or Networking : Here rarely you are going to make Friends .You have to make
networks then Friends (if any) will come to you . I am still learning the concept , hence cannot
detail on it. IfI mange to decode it , which has a near zero probability , I will elaborate in the
next blog(s).

So this is for now. If I do not get sucked into the supersonic pace of life that is a norm here ,
I will come and share my experiences soon.

As the song goes

"Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.

Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
Oh, I believe in yesterday"

Good Bye & Good Luck Vizag

You can say goodbye to people. But can you really bid farewell to a city.?

I came to Vizag in Septmber 2006 with a single agenda of earning livilihood and in a way revive my
self respect which was lost in the turmoil of being jobless in preceding three months.

I have to admit that initially I hated this place. There was no particular reason. May be unrest in my
heart brought the worst of me. But at the end I submitted to the temptation the city provided and
fall in love with the place.

In these last 57 months , in between hundred hangovers,  I cherish those night drives with friends ,
numerous office gossips , alone moments in the beach measuring weight of sand in hand or on the
rooftop making figures in cigarette smoke or roamings through city on my bike when it rained.

But all the moments are lost forever like tears in the rain. And life goes on.

I can remember the first lines of a old ghazal ' Ab ke hum Bichde to shayad kabhi khwabon mein
mile , Jis terah sookhe hue phul kabhi kitabone mein mile '(In case we get separated this time ,
we may meet in our dreams like those dead flowers we find inside books)

And the first few lines of New Slang (The Shins), which goes as follows

                    Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth.

                    Only, i don't know how they got out, dear.
                    Turn me back into the pet that i was when we met.
                     I was happier then with no mind-set.


                     And if you'd 'a took to me lik A gull takes to the wind.
                     Well, i'd 'a jumped from my tree
                     And i'd a danced like the king of the eyesores
                     And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well


So without any pretense or confusing emotions , I bid farewell fom Vizag as I bid farewell fom a friend  , 'Good Bye and Good Luck Vizag'


 

10 things of beauty

This post is for the contest "What does real beauty mean to you?" in Indiblogger sphere with collabration of
Yahoo India and Dove.

I have tried to point out beauty of 10 human virtues/qualities /emotions ( through some of the historical figures and events arranged in a chronological timeline to the extent possible.

The characters , events and emotions are :
1. Sri Krishna , Mahabharat War , Spirituality    
2. Socrates  , Knowledge (Philosophy)
3. King Leonidas and 300 spartans in battle of thermopayle, Courage
4. Omar Khayyam (author of rubiyat) , Poetry 
5. Michelango (Sistine Chapel) , Art 
6. Beethoven playing ninth symphony , Music
7. Florence Nightingale in Crimean War , Empathy
8. Roebling Couple (Builder of Brooklyn bridge) , human spirit 
9. Mahatma Gandhi , non-violence & unity
10. Love


One day , master of my world told me to travel to far end of universe
And to find whether children of men are as beautiful as the maker claims
I roamed beyond the realm of light to find new world named earth and my search began then and there

A person shining liking a ten thousand suns , standing on a chariot, in the surrounding darkness of war
He proposed that true enlightenment is beyond this ephemeral world
With that , I understood the real beauty of spirituality

In a land called Athens , a old philosopher refused to escape the prison and drank poison
His sacrifice is a purifying remedy to the land's misfortunes
I can see beginning of new era and real beauty of Knowledge

Then I heard the roar of few hundred men fighting a million in the land of thermopyale
Who are they , for what they fought I did not know
But I can sense the real beauty in their courage

I came to the land of sand , where a man started to write song of life
About wine , love and paradise that will not come
I was glad to have real beauty of poetry

For four earthly years , I watched the artist painting the image of creation in a chapel
I can see the joy in his eye the day his job was finished
I understood the real beauty in art

I heard  a round of applause and saw the music maker who cannot hear the sound of appreciation
Then he turned back and saw thousand people clapping for him , drops of tears rolled down from his eyes
I knew that music is real beauty

There was a war going on , dying people screaming for redemption
And lady with the lamp came as there salvation , an angel in human form
In those solitary nights , she reminded me the real beauty of empathy

A crippled man lying on bed was instructing his sweet wife to build a bridge as it was his father's dream
Everybody told them to stop but the couple did not give in
And the day she walked on the completed bridge , I understood the real beauty of human spirit

I went back to the land from where my search had began ,
An old man leading his followers in a impossible fight by not fighting
I saw the beauty in their unity

After all this knowledge , I still was missing something
Then I realized I have to return to be with the person I Meant to be
And after all these years I understood the real beauty of love

Unadressed Letter

Don't know who wrote me and for whom
Do I represent someone's Love or contempt,
Am I letter of rejection or of approval, Of invitation or denial,

I wish to know of my content ,
What is it : tomorrow's plans or yesterday's laughter
Am I someone's last wish or the first joy of life

What I represent , random thoughts or ultimate reason
Whose story is written all over me , of last Buddha or of lost human
What is my tone : kind request or an angry burst

Do someone still awaits me standing by the half opened door
Watching the long winding road , waiting for postman to come
And still believes I will liberate her from eternal torture

From where did I start and to where shall I Go
Even if I survive the cruelty of time & space
Shall I ever reach there , where/whom I belong ?

Candle in the Night

I was standing in a field at middle of the night
Don't know who put me there and why
Kept looking for Him with my little light

I swayed right , I swayed left with the blowing wind
Sometimes I stood still and yet in another time I was burning deep
I looked above but most of the times looked within

Then realized , I wasn't standing alone
Billions like me were there and danced  to the tune of time
Once a light went out , there and then , another light came alive

Night was dark indeed , but I kept fighting the darkness
Reason was unknown , yet I kept burning like all others
And it seemed through our lonely fights we were all together

Time was running out and I couldn't find Him nor the reason
But I told the blowing wind to tell the one who comes after me
Not to lose hope but keep searching

The fight will go on between darkness and light
Maybe He will come or the reason will find me
But till the day comes I am proud to be candle in the night

Love Phobia

(Father & son riding along and both are singing the song , "singing in the field of reeds , you sad litte cuckoo bird , my pure , strawberry love"

Son : Father , What's Pure Love

Father : It's love that is pure

Son : What does that mean

Father : Well , ummm , It is when you love one person for rest of your life.

Son: Then , Why is that like Strawberries

Father (now confused , angry) : Just sing the damn song

This South Korean movie was highly recommended by a friend and now I cannot help but admire his taste of movies. I woke up around 9 AM and by 9.10 AM  I was watching this movie. The rule I follow while watching foreign language movies (including english) is  :

             If sober , I download the subtiltles and then watch it.

             If not , watch the movie without any subtitles. (It is not that I can understand the movie ,
             it's just that I cannot read the subtitles , then why waste time downloading subtitles)

The movie starts with a  girl in red shoes , with red school bag and yellow rain suit going to school. Suddenly you ask yourself , it is not raining then why the girl is wearing the rain suit. In the way , the boy who was
previously singing the 'my pure , strawberry love' song sitting in the bicycle sees her and though subtiltles
were silent on this , it was a start of great love story.

In her first day at school ,the girl, Ari, claims she has a curse and that bad things will happen to anyone who touches her. Hence she was wearing the rain suit to prevent the curse from spreading. The boy , Jo-Kang,
became firnd with her. One day when her pet lizard disappers in the mud water , boy keep seraching for
it in that mud. After that, they sat in cold under her yellow rain suit and next day JO-kang had measles.
Ari mysteriously disappears the next day.

Ten years later she reappears just as mysteriously in Jo-Kang's life. They start from where they had left and
a teenage love story begins. When jo-kang asked her what she wants to do in the next ten years. She says she will be married to a banker. When he asks , 'Why a banker' , she answers 'so that they can rob a bank to buy a russian spaceship to get away from this planet as she doesn't belong here.When once she tells that she would love to eat Shshi , Jo-kang hitch-hikes to city at night and by morning he brings her a sumptuous sushi. They kiss for first time and next day Jo-Kang gets flu. Ari blames herself for the same and again disapppers from his life.


Eight more years pass, and Jo-Kang is still haunted by her memory. Ari walks right back into his life in
the bank where he works. She still speaks of aliens, spaceships, and curses, just as she did before. Then
she reveals that next day she is going to USA. It devastates Jo-Kang. But next day, he accompanies her
to the airport .

Jo-Kang will soon learn that the truth is far more tragic than he might imagine. The movie moves ahead to show that Ari has AIDS which she got in childhood during blood tranfusion after a tragic accident which
killed her parents. At last Jo-kang traces Ari back to a hospital . In the desperate effort , he went and
starts designing a crop circle in field so that aliens can come and heal Ari.


Upto that point there was no doubt in my mind that this is not sci-fi movie. But in the ten minutes , when
Ari sits in a bench among the crop circle , and Jo-Kang keeps cycling around her singing out the large names
they made up in childhood and a bright light comes from no where and Ari says to Jo-Kang not to turn back
as she is going bak from where she came , it left me confused.

Anyway movie was very cute and funny and have the emotional power that makes you cry without dashing your hopes for a happy ending. It's executed extremely well with quirky bits throughout. If you like this kind of movie this is a must watch ( with or without subtiles , if you also follow my rules)

A Bitter Man

If you could have listened to your heartbeats
Without complaining for absence of some reason
Admired the beauty of rose ignoring the thorns

If you could have lived without counting the passing hours
Travelled anywhere without caring for any destination
Got lost in the music of life and had your soul's celebration

If you could have been content with your blessings
Without comparing those with received by other
Prayed without any agenda, without wanting something more

If you could have escaped from your own prison
Loved without any reservation , not wanting anything in return
Not waiting for autumn to come , could have been happy in all season

You were destined to be the better man
But you stubborn fool , managed to ignore simple joy of life
At the end , now you have become a bitter one

Keep Walking

I have walked silently half awake between my dreams and despairs
Walked too far so as to never return
Embarrassed to ask for guidance , I have walked all the way alone

I have laughed and thought afterwards whether it was real or not
Those laughs seems to happen a longtime ago
May be when I was not sober enough to know


I have cried and hold those tears in my fingertip
And asked them the reasons for their existence
But their silence was for all the pains that did not show


I have danced in rain and tried to be a happier person
But at the end , I was left standing cold and alone
Asking for forgiveness for the wrongs I have not done

I have dreamt of things in past , present and future
Tried to create memories of things that cannot be
Hold those moments in heart which I could not live

Intoxicated by Love's confusing Joy, I claim to have loved
I have written songs about life's pleasure & pain
while swinging between yesterday's heartbreaks and tomorrow's anticipation

But after all these laughs , tears and lies
It seems I have wasted one more life
On the desolate streams of sighs

Color of Blood is BLUE

Long back somewhere I read that 'One Glorious moment under the sun is worth a thousand lives'.

Three hours back,  for the Cricket team of India there was a glorious moment . May be not only for them , but for all those thousand  Indians  in the stadium , millions at home , shops , hotels , clubs , streets , borders , everywhere watching and praying for India to win the World Cup it was a glorious moment of
our lives. A moment to hold forever.

In a day or two , again we will fall back to our daily routine, those who are employed will go to work and unemployed will serach for work. We will be again trapped into casual happenstances of life. There is no escape from reality. However for those few moments when the Indian Capatain Mahendra Singh Dhoni
scored the winning runs by putting the ball outside the boundary in a most fashionable way and rotate his
bat like a gladiators' sword , we Indians were happy. For a moment we were not separate individuals ,
we were all part of single joy. Even those pretty Emirates air hostess by the side of World cup standing
for longtime giving digital smile , tired commentators hoping to return home soon were happy.


You may argue what is there in the game . Is it going to solve crime , reduce poverty , make some new technological innovation ? No , it was never meant to. This was to look beyond our daily failures to something refreshing. It is a choice to make that never lose hope.

From the moment , when Srilankan Captain won the toss and was asked what will be a good score and he answered that anything they can put on board will be a good score, I hoped it will be close contest. And it was , a fight between tiger and lion , where tiger won. When India was 31-2 , I was dreading whether it will be like a previous World Cup Final defeat . But this time we won for the brilliance of our players who went that extra step, that extra inch to clinch victory , to claim immortality. They made us , the 1.2 biilion people of India winners.

Whoever says winning isn't everything may be a loser. Winning is everything. And it feels good to be
winner after long time.

Though like most of Indians I was hoping for a Fairytale ending to the fablous contest , by Great Sachin
scoring his 100th Internationl Hundred and bringing the world cup home after 28 years , I cannot
complain now.

May be God of Cricket has to wait for few more months for his next milestone.

At the end thank you team India for giving me one of the best moment of my life. Thank You

Cricket , A religion , A revolution

Fewdays back when I was preparing for some Interviews , I was reading about recent uprising in
arab countries and the cause behind it , hoping that in the interview I will be asked about same.
I did read about Psychology (Pluralistic igonrance ) , Economy ( inflation , unemployment) ,
technology (facebook , internet) of modern revolution. And I was thinking I had quite grasp
about it

But today evening , after India'as semifinal win over Pakistan , when four of us went to hang out in the beach , my understanding got a quiet beating. There were thousands of people cheering for India. It is
a weekday , most of them has to wake up early in the morning got to school , office , have to cook etc.
There was no reason behind standing there at the middle of the night. All are strangers , nobody fixed a
time to gather there , no pamplets , no SMSes , facebook messages but everybody was there. It was
like a string attched to everyone bringing them together to that place

How come a win in silly game of longitudinal wood stick making love with spherical ball can attract
thousands of people of all ages , religions , regions into the sleepy beach of vizag in middle of
night was incomprehensible to me.

Then , like a lightening a idea came to mind. Like love there is no reason for revolution . It has to
happen so it happens , there is no reason behind it.

In the end , I am hoping for final win so that again I will be part of small revolution in saturday evening
at Vizag beach

Pied Piper's Dream (PPD)

A time long ago there was Pied Piper clown of this land
Who kept blowing his pipe when free music was banned
And sang songs of freedom , when it was just a futile word

It is about a time when history was a repeatation of future
Of the place where everyone followed same routine to be safe and secure
Had same dreams , equal excuses even similar hunger

Like the big rocks in the universe uniform and punctual in their rotation
Duplicity of action was the base of that civilisation
All those living were controlled in the same function

It was blasphemy to write , dance or sing otherwise
But then came the Pied Piper who created his own music
Whoever heard that song wake up from the false sleep

And now those few wanted to get free and dance to their own tune
It was a problem for most who wanted to remain charmed by the rune
Who did not wanted to wake up and thought morning has come too soon

Hence it was decided by majority to undo what is done
And save the land from the musician who has violated the pact of common
The Pied Piper has to die to keep the uniformity of action

It was decided to execute him in the centre of town
This will act as example for those who wanted to follow the clown
And henceforth keep their voices forever down

He came blowing his pipe the last song of joy and freedom
And smiling he went and embraced death like a champion
Music could be heard long after his body has gone

In the silent hours , lingering like a suspense behind the screen
A slow music in night , a song about things that cannot be told or seen
If you listen carefully , you can hear the Pied Piper's Dream

It 's just another day in office

It 's just another day in office
Conditioned environment controlling every emotion, action and air I breathe
Seconds turning into minutes and minutes into hour
And I keep looking into endless horizon searching for an answer

There comes a brown kite and fly by the glass wall
It gives a new hope to my restless heart
The movemnet in the warm summer afternoon was magical
And before I knew , was lost in its flight and was its part

Now I can feel the hot sun over my head and dizzy height if I fall
And can see the hundred chained souls working behind the concrete shelter
For a moment I fear that they will see me , flying away
But they are too busy to notice , lost in their own survival

I see the the whole city and life moving into the randomness
A maze without any beginning and without any end
I can hear the buildings gossiping with the surrounding trees
And roads complaining to the passing by vehicles

A small child clutching into ice-cream smiles and waves
An old man, from the shadow of umbrella looks and sighs
And all other people are too busy in their life to take notice
and fail to understand that they can also be free

As I approach a tree to give my wings a little rest
All the birds fly away and other habitants run to hide
I sit on a branch under the cool shed and feel a calmness that had eluded me for long
Seeing me lost in myself , a bold squirrel ventures out singing its usual lazy afternoon song

It is a wake up call to join the war and to forego peace
I fly back to concrete shelter into my body which I had earlier left
Into the randomness from rhythm, to chaos from silence
Its just another day in Office and I wait for that brown kite to fly by

Nature and Nippon

This is dedicated to the people of Nippon (Japan) who are suffering through the recent devastation caused by nature . This is to the spirit of Japan


I have seen your angry face, heard your death roar
But never seen such fury before
You took my children and left none alive
But no matter what comes, I will survive

I know you were silent for long and
Now you have ripped your heart apart to show your pain
Cried your heaviest tears to keep yourself sane
But I will not be extinct, I am here and I Will be

Let me give another chance to build myself again
To mourn for my children who have forever gone
To heal those who were torn apart by you furor
And let them hope for a new tomorrow

Let make a deal for peace today
And hope that heart of men will change
When they will not hurt you anymore
May be not soon but that day will come for sure

To have loved and lost

The following is dedicated to the women who have loved and lost.

I wish for those precious moments to return
When it seemed we were made for each other
I can touch your face and feel the wholeness of your soul
And you can kiss my eyes and take away all of my pain

I think every now and then , though I try hard not to
Of days when I loved you and thought  you loved me too
Before you abandoned me for fairer skin & fake smile
Betrayed me for a racing car & bunglow by the sea

I was doomed from the beginning
When entangled in your sweet lies, I believed you
I was too happy to ignore the truth
Lost in the illusions of  love, was so confused
 
I stil laugh, talk and show all happy emotions of life
But a certain numbness has crawled into my vein
After so many tears , now I cannot feel the pain
I am not dead yet , but it seems I have died long ago

I want to hope for a new life and true love
But cannot , fear that it will hurt again
And I know that spring will never come
Trapped in this eternal winter I will suffer long

Sometimes I ask God , Why I was punished for no fault of mine
I get no answer . Long dead emotions lie still
Lost ground of love keep staring at me
I try hard not to complain for what is there and what could have been

This Post has been Published as a part of

An Ode to Mystery called Women

The following is dedicated to all those women without whom our existence has no meaning

HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY

First time when I opened my eyes and saw so many strangers around
In those unaccustomed body, I was afraid and started crying
Then I could me feel His presence beside me
Someone was there to protect me as He has earlier promised

She took me in her arms and hold me close to her heart
I was not afraid anymore and I knew God is there
It felt like heaven, when she whispered those words
That I am her star, the light of her world

She was the warmth that comforted me in the cold night
An omnipresent protector, my guiding light
Her voice has the resemblance with that I had heard before (I was born)
And when I learn to utter my first words , I called her my mother

There came another day, when God sent another angel
To assist me in my childhood adventure
She was my secret keeper, my shield from any punishment
My punch bag when I was angry and best friend for merriment

Whether I play in dirt with marbles or miss school to catch fish
She was there everytime, my partner in crime
I forgot the number of times I have hurt her
But she forgave me and called me her brother

I grew up to became a rebel, as usually everbody does when they grow up
With those teenage confusions, I started reconstructing the world
Then one day I saw her, the most beautiful dream I had ever dreamt
The end of all those early confusions

She had those beautiful eyes which can look deep into your soul
And her face was like a joyous melody, which makes you happy
She became my best friend and later consented to be my wife
She vowed to save me all through my life and kept her promise

After some years I got another lucky charm from above
It felt like God to have created such a beautiful life
When I hold her first time in my arms, and she gave me a toothless smile
I knew I was so lucky to be alive

I taught her to walk and ride her first bicycle
I used to tell her all the made up ‘prince and princess’ stories
And when she grew up to be the finest person I have ever known
I felt proud that she was my daughter

And today when Time has come for me to return
I know the reason I was born
So that I can understand love in its various form
Here in this world, those forms are named as women

This Post has been Published as a part of

HAPPINESS

The number of articles , books which have been written or going to be written on the subject 'Happiness'
is so vast that one doesn't feel happy to have to read all those to know what happiness is

And I don't think there was ever a single human being or ever going to be , who has not thought about
this subject. May be he/she was intelligent or lazy enough not to write books or songs on the issue.

So without any pretension to lift the veil from the mystery subject , here are some thoughts which was
result of a discussion during lunch hours.
During lunch hour yesterday , one senior colleague suddenly put down the question 'What is happiness' .
After seeing so many english movies (yeah yeah of course with subtitles) , I thought I had enough
intelligence and experience to answer the question. But I couldn't. Because I believe that no definition
is good enough to define such a term.



He was making a good point on how are desires for materiliastic things makes us unhappy . And how
by not worrying about the result of our actions or efforts , can keep us from being unhappy. And to
attain that state of mind where there is no difference between pain and pleasure , knowledge of
life is must.

Another colleague told a very beautiful thing , how strange is that God created this marvellous world
for us to be happy and how come we always find ourselves to be unhappy. How each person , no
matter how successful or accomplished he/she has become , seems to be unhappy. Each has to deal
with his/her own demons.

Both of them were right in their own ways. However I have difficulty in acknowledging the fact former
has said that knowledge makes us free.

I may be wrong but I think once you have enough knowledge you are no longer part of this world.
You will just become a observer. You will start to see good and bad in people and in such case
it is difficult to have pure faith in anything. As you will have the understanding to question everything
even the things that you believe to be true. That is numbness and not happiness. However I cannot
prove this  as I lack that knowledge.

You may not be remembering first time you saw the face of the person who you call your mother,
that moment you may not have the knowledge of understanding or recognition but still you were
truly happy. The first time you learnt to walk without the knowledge of gravity or your first time on
your bicycle. The first time you won a prize and saw your family proudly standing there. The
first time you fall in love and each moment when you have glance of her/him , the happiness
you felt inside is without any knowledge or reason. The first time you kissed . That may lasted
for few moments only but for you it was a eternity. The first time you hold the tiny tiny fingers
of your new born baby and found yourself to be born again. The first time when worshipping
your God , whoever may be, you were aware that you are part of that light.

The problem is that we cannot hold those moments forever.

In between those moments comes a thousand twists , turns , heartbreaks , rejections , failures
of life and we are left unhappy and sad.

I think we are unhappy because at those moments of our life we chose to be unhappy. Or may
be happiness is just a word , a futile word to lure us and kept us attached to this world.

The following are  the memorebale lines from movie 'In pursuit of Happiness' (Will Smith starrer)
'It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?'

MAY BE ABOVE IS CORRECT. WE ARE ALWAYS IN PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS AND
THAT IS WHY WE WILL BE NEVER HAPPY.

I hope you listen to what I do not say

I don't know whether I see something less or something more
when I try hard to look deep into those eyes of your
In one moment I find my salvation and in next it is gone
And I oscillate between those moments of pleasure and pain


I want to say so many things , but words die midway
And then I hope you listen to what I do not say
It seems I have a blindfold on my eyes
And I seem to ignore what is true and what is false

Am I jealous of your freedom or angry for my prison term
I don't know the reason behind the numbness
When I try to listen for your heartbeats hoping to listen my name
All I can hear is deafening silence


I try to make sense out of all these uncertain moments ,
But I fail to understand that unknown language
in which destiny has paid my sufferings a homage
We stand close but yet too far from each other

Tear of an angel

Today I saw an angel crying , hiding her face in her hands
I wished I could comfort her , shield her from all fears
To hold her in my arms , and wipe her tears

But I am a prisoner of time , lost in the dark side
Ever pervading darkness that permeates my myth
I did not want to desecrate her light

As a skeptic of both good and evil
I stood there at a distance , afraid to go near
so that my shadow did not touch her halo

I hoped for the existence of light
For the first time , I prayed to make things all right
But no one came to rescue her from her heart's plight

I was a witness to cruelty of circumstance
I wanted to fight the moments; to defy gods and devil at same time
But I dare not to touch the sacredness of her life

Though I wanted to feel her pain , but I could not in my heart so numb
I wished for one of her smile
Waited there for that rescurer of soul

Reason of those reasons

Today morning I received a SMS from close friend , which in the end  read as follows

"Everything happens for a reason. But the hardest part is still finding out what the reason is"

In the early morning rush to go to the office , I didn't think about it. But as the day progressed
I realised how true the message in every one's life.

We take some decisions , chose some way , neglect some and always hope that everything will
end fine. We walk , we see , we fall in love , we laugh , we get separated , we cry , we fight with
each other , we do mistake , we run , we realise our mistakes, we hide , we laugh , we cry , we
wander , we fall,  we get up, we run , we lie down and so on life goes on. And with all these
things  we  come to believe that our life follows a grand plan may be unknown to us , but it is
still there. All those things that we could not understand in the past , cannot understand now and
will not be able to understand in the future will work out to be have a  good reason. All those
eccentricities  of life will make sense at the end. Our lives are for a purpose.

But as time fly by , with certain disappointment  in our heart , most of us realise that nothing
makes sense at all. With a single life to live , we cannot compare what we did with our life
was the best thing to do or not.

You remember those story magazines in childhood days , where you have to connect the dots
in a sequence so as a figure of some animal or face will emerge.

I was never able to complete that unless some sequence number are given for the dots. Otherwise
I always used to end up with random lines criss-crossing others. And I was always jealous of my
sister who could complete those in no time. So to make her think that I did better than her , in
those days I used to look at those meaningless lines and imagine some figures to prove that I
solved the  puzzle better than her

And it seems , with life we all have to do the same. In the end we just have to connect the dots
in a way to have a correct plan  emerge out of that randomness of our life. In case we fail to
do that, we just have to imagine some good plan that our life followed and put the events
of our life in that imaginary plan. As they say the end should be good otherwise it is not a end.

So how hard it may seem , to have good ending , we have to believe earnestly that our life did
not go waste , without a purpose. In the end it meant something

 In the movie 'Hitch' , last scene while trying to stop his lady love , Alex Hitchens (Will Smith)
jumps into her moving car , falls down and when she protests why did he jump , he says

"Because that's what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly, because
otherwise you just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the *hell* did
I jump? But here I am, Sarah, falling, and the only one that makes me feel like I can fly... is you."

To live life fully , without worrying about reasons , sometimes we have to take some blind jumps
and hope that someday somewhere someone will come to rescue us , to save us from falling as a rock