The survival value of the God
meme in the meme pool results from its great psychological appeal.
(Richard
Dawkins, The Selfish Gene)
After the idea of God what can
have more psychological appeal than idea of marriage.
Over the years, against my better
judgment (believe me, I too can think), most of my friends have marched happily
to sacrifice their freedom in the altar of marriage. As if the child ego state
inside them lured by all the fireworks, hullabaloo of marriage ignores warnings
of adult ego state and says ‘qubool hai’.
The reasoning they gave can be
grouped under several clichéd excuses such as parental pressure, time-tested
tradition or obligation to evolution etc.
I do not blame them. But I do
blame the reasons they gave. I can understand someone marrying for love. But
marrying for tradition!
Irrespective of your gender, once
you cross the magic age 25, it seems universe starts conspiring against you.
Your relatives start bringing proposals of perfect matches, neighbors have a
single agenda ‘Why Mr. X’s son/daughter is unmarried till date’, Colleagues
have single lunch-table discussion topic ‘When are you getting married’’. Even
the neighborhood shopkeeper does not hesitate in asking, ‘When will I get
sweets’.
Over the years, movies, novels,
TV serials shaped our understanding and made us believe that marriage is the
answer to all problems; A Happily Ever After kingdom exists. Rarely someone
said ‘Hey dude/dudette, sometimes light at the end of tunnel is not
the escape route but the incoming train’. I am not saying that all
marriages end ill or there are no happy couples. My only objection being
leaving this important matter to chance rather than own choice.
Yes I do understand that not
everyone is a born Casanova or Cleopatra and not all have equal opportunity to
get that they want. But that doesn’t mean you flip a coin and base your life
decision on it.
I know my argument lacks some
merit. Man is supposed to be social animal. Individuality is a dangerous idea. Hence
our society is not very fond of bachelors or spinsters and they will be seen as
abnormalities in a perfect system. Married couples have better access to rented
houses, restaurants and even they get discounts for club entries. The ‘Survival of the fittest’ translates to
‘Survival of the married'.
However all matters aside, as an
individual we all are curious to take a new step with hope that it will be a
welcome change in life. There is always a certain void in our ever-wanting heart
for love & happiness that we try to fill by getting into new relationship(s).
We are like drowning people; whoever comes in our way we clutch into hoping
that we will be saved by him/her.
As Philosopher Michael Sandel
once argued that, whatever we might like to think, we are never entirely free, nor would
we want to be. The very ties that give our lives meaning also constrain us and
it is precisely by constraining us that they give us meaning.
